I always wait about 30 minutes too long. I’ll be visiting my folks and suddenly hear the preliminary squawk of a baby getting ready to eat her 1,000th meal of the day. I frantically glance at the clock and realize it’s past time and my choices are to a) Hang out for another 45 minutes – therefore putting me home too late for Ginger’s bladder or b) Fly out the house RIGHT NOW to begin the 10 minute drive home while the meltdown begins.
This past time I opted for the latter. My mom helped me gather the baby detritus lying about the kitchen while I tossed everything chaotically into the diaper bag (I’ll organize it later!) and grabbed a handful of Hershey’s Kisses. Mom lovingly swung the car seat back and forth trying to calm Victoria who apparently has never eaten before in her life and the injustice of it all results of wails of furor and pain.
Off we go. Victoria, her powerful lungs and me.
When my attempts to calm her en-route fail, I become absorbed in my Kisses. I steer with the outside of my palm while prying the foil away from the chocolate nugget. The only difficulty is not being able to see the miniscule chocolate specs that inevitably fall from a freshly opened
Kiss. You Kiss eaters know what I’m talking about. At any rate, I realize at this point, I’ve created the perfect method for eating the all-American chocolate. You open the foil, stick your tongue out and tip your head back therefore all specs will either stick to your tongue or fall in your mouth. Then I like to take the point of the Kiss and feel it in between my two front teeth. But you may have your own method.
Against a backdrop of caterwaulering from the backseat, I had the thought that we all probably have our methods for eating just about any food. How do we compare?
Reece’s Pea
nut Butter Cups: I peel back the brown wax paper, eat around the pointy edges until I have an island of peanut butter sitting atop my thumb, then I begin biting. Usually three bites worth.
Hostess Cupcakes: I dump the package upside down and let my cupcake sit on its lovely frosted top. I pluck the cake off the bottom and eat that. Then I pick up the glorious top piece and slowly eat that. Best piece for last you see!
Banana Bread: After lightly buttering a fat piece of B-bread, I eat the side edges and then the bottom edge saving the middle and super-moist top edge for the last bites since they are, of course, the best. (Mark toasts his banana bread. I believe the toasted flavor gets in the way of the banana flavor).
Cake: I tip the piece over on its side so I can easier access the cake portion, therefore saving the frosted top for last. Are you sensing a system yet?
French Fries: Fry Sauce – always. If none is available, I’ll eat the Fries plain. Everything else desecrates the purity of the fried potato.
Twix: A steady, even, straight-forward biting while holding the opposite end carefully ensconced in the wrapper so as not to soil my fingers.
Hmm…. Thus far, I sound slightly like I might have a sweet tooth… Or perhaps sweet foods are more fun to use creative eating methods?...
At any rate, once at home, my Kiss foils are crumpled into tiny balls resting in the bottom of my pocket and I’m continually amazed that the quiet-inducing power of a bottle!
This past time I opted for the latter. My mom helped me gather the baby detritus lying about the kitchen while I tossed everything chaotically into the diaper bag (I’ll organize it later!) and grabbed a handful of Hershey’s Kisses. Mom lovingly swung the car seat back and forth trying to calm Victoria who apparently has never eaten before in her life and the injustice of it all results of wails of furor and pain.
Off we go. Victoria, her powerful lungs and me.
When my attempts to calm her en-route fail, I become absorbed in my Kisses. I steer with the outside of my palm while prying the foil away from the chocolate nugget. The only difficulty is not being able to see the miniscule chocolate specs that inevitably fall from a freshly opened
Kiss. You Kiss eaters know what I’m talking about. At any rate, I realize at this point, I’ve created the perfect method for eating the all-American chocolate. You open the foil, stick your tongue out and tip your head back therefore all specs will either stick to your tongue or fall in your mouth. Then I like to take the point of the Kiss and feel it in between my two front teeth. But you may have your own method.Against a backdrop of caterwaulering from the backseat, I had the thought that we all probably have our methods for eating just about any food. How do we compare?
Reece’s Pea
nut Butter Cups: I peel back the brown wax paper, eat around the pointy edges until I have an island of peanut butter sitting atop my thumb, then I begin biting. Usually three bites worth.Hostess Cupcakes: I dump the package upside down and let my cupcake sit on its lovely frosted top. I pluck the cake off the bottom and eat that. Then I pick up the glorious top piece and slowly eat that. Best piece for last you see!
Banana Bread: After lightly buttering a fat piece of B-bread, I eat the side edges and then the bottom edge saving the middle and super-moist top edge for the last bites since they are, of course, the best. (Mark toasts his banana bread. I believe the toasted flavor gets in the way of the banana flavor).
Cake: I tip the piece over on its side so I can easier access the cake portion, therefore saving the frosted top for last. Are you sensing a system yet?
French Fries: Fry Sauce – always. If none is available, I’ll eat the Fries plain. Everything else desecrates the purity of the fried potato.
Twix: A steady, even, straight-forward biting while holding the opposite end carefully ensconced in the wrapper so as not to soil my fingers.
Hmm…. Thus far, I sound slightly like I might have a sweet tooth… Or perhaps sweet foods are more fun to use creative eating methods?...
At any rate, once at home, my Kiss foils are crumpled into tiny balls resting in the bottom of my pocket and I’m continually amazed that the quiet-inducing power of a bottle!
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