Grandma

I lost my sweet Grandma today

She had a hip surgery. I don’t think there were any complications…. I just think she didn’t have the will to go on. My Grandpa passed away a few years ago and she’s wanted to be with him ever since. There is some comfort in that.

I’ve been so fortunate in my life that I’ve known all of my grandparents well. We’ve lived nearby and I was able to spend a lot of time with them. In the past 5 years I’ve lost 3 of them. Again, I’m lucky that they’ve lived such long, healthy lives. I’ve not had to watch them suffer through disease, Alzheimer’s or anything. They’ve all been clear, lucid and capable up until the end.

It leaves me to think….

As I stood at my Grandma’s side, holding her hand, hoping she would wake long enough to see I was there, I looked at the family pictures that surrounded her bed. Her newest great granddaughter (my niece), her grandson’s wedding announcement, notes written in the hand of a 6 year old, and the picture of her with grandpa…. What a legacy. She leaves behind a big, wonderful, loving, supportive, loyal family that I’m so happy and blessed to be part of.

I wonder, what will my legacy be? Will so many smiling faces surround me? Will Mark and I have logged 60 ¾ years together? Will I see any great grandkids?

Then of course, I’m left to reflect… Did I visit often enough? No. Not at all. I did try and we’d have nice visits. I liked getting her to talk about how she met Grandpa. How they’d only know each other so briefly and she moved off to Texas to marry the serviceman who asked her to move and “keep house” for him.

It’s strange to me that when I’m my parents’ age, I’ll have gone 30 years without seeing my wonderful grandparents. Do you start to forget what they look like? Do you forget that Grandma always had cookies in the cookie jar? Do you forget how Grandpa would cut up watermelon for everyone? Do you forget that Grandma loved to crochet and we’d all run around in slippers she made for us that looked like tennis shoes?

How can I make sure I don’t? How do I make sure I remember my Grandma the way she was and not the way I last saw her, so thin, weak and asleep?

My Grandma was the happiest person I’ve known. Always a cheery disposition, never a cross word and always a glint in her eye… always smiling. She had a tremendous love for her family and could readily recite how many kids, grandkids and great grandkids she had and also tell you their birthdays. We always got a card from grandma on our birthday (usually with $5) and a phone call – a phone call that would begin with her singing “Happy Birthday to you!” Grandma loved celebrations, birthdays, anniversaries any reason for a gathering.

Grandpa was the “most wonderful man anyone could ever ask for” her sons were the “most wonderful sons anyone could ever ask for” and her home was “the most wonderful home anyone could ever ask for – why would you want to go anywhere else?”

Many wonderful memories of grandma’s house fill my head. I wonder if I’ll ever go in the house again. Her famous picture-wall, the sheer closet (we dressed up in her left –over sheer fabric when we were little), the cookie jar, the plants, haunted houses we grandkids made as kids, a few sleepovers on the sofa pull-out which I thought was the fanciest thing I’d ever seen, desserts on Sunday nights, fresh plums, the “C” nursery and most of all, a gathering place for my family. A place to see my aunts, uncles and my cousins every Sunday night – what a treat!

I love and will miss Grandma. But knowing she is with Grandpa makes it easier – I’m sure she’s scolding him for leaving her. And I know they are sitting on the love seat, watching Matlock and holding hands.